Our Community Conversation (Week 7)

What does the Bible say about tithing and stewardship?

We looked at passages about "tithing" and "stewardship" in Genesis 14:18-20; Leviticus 27:30-33; Numbers 18:20-32; Deuteronomy 14:28-29 & 26:12-13; 2 Chronicles 31:4-6; Malachi 3:8-10; Matthew 23:23-24; Luke 18:9-14; Hebrews 7:1-10; 1 Corinthians 9:14; Galatians 6:6; 1 Timothy 5:17-18; 1 Corinthians 16:1-4; and 2 Corinthians 8. 

Then we had a discussion and people said this about "tithing" and "stewardship":

• There are generational and gender differences in the views we have on giving and money. Seniors give what they give no matter what and Boomers give less. X-gen and Millennials don't give as much because they don't have the same kind of commitment to institutions. 
• For Boomers generation it is about involvement (time and talents come first and then giving follows). What are some ideas that we can use to motivate giving? We need to remind ourselves of all the things our staff does...seniors/children/youth all need to think about what those programs provide. Actions and activities that happen on our facilities like AA and the Carying Place require financial support. 
• Don't use thermometers! Remind us what we're involved in. 
• Should we "tithe" (give ten percent of our income) before or after taxes? Is it net or gross?
• We should give our "first fruits" (the best and first of what we have) to God and not our leftovers. 
• Generation Xers and people with children have a hard time giving money. Kids are expensive so we tithe our time to activities and service instead of our money. There's no disposable income so we will give more money later but we can give our time now. 
• We should and we can give something - not just time and talents but money too. 
• We need to do an inventory of our time, talents, and treasure. 
• The Planned Growth in Giving plan that was led by Jerry Harris was effective. It led people to make commitments in giving. Many people were able to increase their giving by 1% in the first year of that program and it has stuck with those members. 
• Please round off your tithe when you give. It's easier to count.
• We support the things that we have ownership in and that we think are important. Time is a part of giving. 
• We need some new creative strategies for development. 
• We need to step out in faith. Many years ago we made a decision to start tithing when we had children. It was hard and scary, but we did it and our children never went without anything. We will never regret the choice to tithe. 
• We must remember the quote from Malachi. If we give God will take care of us. We started to tithe and each year we've increased our giving and we've hardly even noticed it. 
• I remember a jar I had as a little girl and I would take 10% out of it and give it to the church. My parents taught me the importance and purpose of tithing when I was a small child. We need to teach the same message to our children so we can pass this command on to future generations. 

Our Community Conversation (Week 6)

Together we read an 2013 article from the Christian Century magazine that details the radical decline in church attendance and religious fervor among Christians in America. (See the article below)

http://www.christiancentury.org/article/2013-11/negative-numbers

Then we asked the question:

What are some of the non-numerical signs of church vitality?

Here's what people said during our discussion:

• Rehashing old church growth solutions from the 60's and 70's to get more people in the pews is futile. These strategies might work for a short period of time but it never gets the children because they recognize manipulation when they see it. 
• Churches with ethnic diversity are growing faster than everyone else. 
• Church members in America are not just declining in numbers but also in how often they pray. 
• Will Willimon says that numbers matter but we're often counting the wrong things. 
• We can measure vitality by whether you feel the love and care of God not whether you attend the church. 
• Screens, videos, computers are a sign of the times. The traditional church doesn't appeal anymore. 
• What was going on in the world from 2005-2010? The Great Recession! People had to focus on putting food on their tables and not feeding their spiritual needs. 
• The idea of organization and control is a problem for young folks. Other kinds of groups are looking for spiritual guidance in other ways. 
• Involvement in mission and helping others is a sign of vitality. Also, what's happening in the community around us. 
• A sense of joy in the congregation.
• Caring church members - especially when they experience trouble. 
• Are the lights on most of the time? Are things happening?
• The number of people involved in a particular ministry.
• The weight of ministry is carried and shared by all and not done by only 20% of the congregation.
• Meaningful worship services are signs of vitality.
• Variety and different styles of music. Being open to receiving other styles. 
• Educating our children and including them in worship and missions. 
• Being involved in social issues. 
• I wonder what it would be like if none of the businesses were open on Sunday morning?
• We need more small groups for spiritual renewal to happen in our church. 

Here's a list of 15 non-numerical signs of church vitality:

1. A high percentage of the congregation is involved in the life of the community and the mission of the church.

2. The congregation is working to reflect the demographics of the surrounding community. 

3. Worship is highly attended and members are active participants in the service. 

4. Leaders don't have to beg people to serve/there are no volunteer crises. 

5. People are more focused on the positive movement of the Spirit rather than the things they don't like.

6. Different demographics within the community fellowship with one another on a regular basis.

7. People take care of each other (physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc.)

8. More ministry is happening than committee work.

9. The church is hospitable to strangers, newcomers, and people who are different than them.  

10. The congregation has a teachable spirit.

11. New leadership is embraced and faithful leadership is appreciated.

12. The focus is on faith formation and not programming.

13. It is a safe place for truth telling.

14. People pray. 

15. People are serious about following Jesus both individually and as a community. 

Our Community Conversation (Week 5)

In our conversation about diversity over the last few weeks one of the things that has become clear is that we have many different ideas and definitions of what diversity means for our church. In order to better define what we mean by diversity lets discuss:

1. What form of diversity do you think is the most important for our church to focus on at this time? 
- socio-economic/class
- racial/ethnic/cultural
- sexuality and gender
- generational (age)
- viewpoints/opinions
- religious backgrounds

Here's how the conversation went:

• From the very beginning of our church it has always been filled with affluent members and non-affluent members don't seem to stay around for very long. It seems like that is something that we should work on.
• Like America, we accept people and welcome them from all backgrounds but we don't expect them to change our basic beliefs like believer's baptism, faith, rebirth, etc. We don't want people who come to impose their beliefs on us. We don't have to change just because other people change.
• Do we accept people who have a different personal theology than we do? The question here is, "how diverse should we be?" We came out of the SBC because of inerrancy. How do we deal with people who have different theologies. We know them by their fruits. If the fruits are good then a person is a good Christian regardless of their personal theology.
• When we left the SBC it was for a number of reasons, but especially the interpretation of the Bible. Some believe in inerrancy and some do not. We have both in our church and we accept both views. 
• If people come in with a personal agenda to do something to change the church or take over then that is the only thing that would keep anybody out. If someone tried to make us into something other than a Christian church who was open to all people then that is the only thing that would not make them welcome.
• We should focus on what holds us together and not what tears us apart. 
• The greatest challenge we face is the integration of the older and younger members of the church. The idea of a senior adult SS class serving food to the youth on Sunday nights is a good idea. We need to concentrate on fostering the interplay of different age groups.
• We need to continue working on becoming an intergenerational community together. We need to share our life experiences and wisdom. It would be good if everybody could have the support network, and fellowship, and community that our church provides. 
• There are very few African Americans, very few Hispanics, and very few other minorities in our church. We simply do not have racial and cultural diversity right now. This is the kind of diversity that we need to focus on. 

2. What are some examples of diversity in the Bible? In what ways can these stories help inform our discussion of diversity as a church?

Here's how the conversation went:

• In the early church it was the integration of Gentiles into the Jewish community that was the greatest challenge. The Jewish community had to learn how to accept the Gentiles cultural practices like what they ate and how they lived. Peter's vision of the sheet with clean and unclean animals on it is an example of this. The Jewish community had to learn how to accept people who did not keep the kosher food laws. In Acts 17 Paul address the people of Athens who worshiped the unknown god and invited them to come and worship the God of Israel. Jews accepting Gentiles was the biggest challenge of diversity that the church faced. 
• The entire New Testament is about the inclusion of the Gentiles into the Jewish community. At first the Jews were requiring the Gentiles to be circumcised, to adopt the kosher food regulations, and to obey all their laws to become a part of the community. But Paul and eventually Peter stood against that kind of exclusion and the NT is about how they worked out a new community were all were included together without requirements. Welcoming the Gentiles without requiring circumcision was one of the most inclusive acts of cultural, ethnic, and racial diversity in human history and it was also the foundation of the church.
• There is a diversity of theology among the different writers of the NT. They have different perspectives. The gospel of John and Revelation are different than Peter and Paul.
• The story of Philip and the Ethiopian Eunuch in Acts 8 (as well as Isaiah) is a story about the inclusion of someone who was very different sexually and who was previously excluded because of their sexuality. This story is instructive for us in terms of our approach to sexual and gender diversity in the church.
• Spiritual gifts in 1 Corinthians 12 is a form of diversity in the church - all gifts are equal.
• Jesus is the greatest example of inclusiveness and diversity that the world has ever known. He called uneducated fisherman and women to be his disciples. He broke down the barriers of gender, culture, and class. He ate with tax collectors and prostitutes. 
• The story of the friends who brought their paralytic brother to Jesus in Mark 2 and had to take him up on the roof of the house and dig through the ceiling to get to Jesus is an example of our call to diversity and love toward those with disabilities. 
• There is diversity of understanding in the story of Nicodemus. He wondered how he could be born again. He didn't understand and needed Jesus to break it down for him to bite size. Jesus was patient with those who didn't understand. As Paul said, he offered milk for those who weren't yet tolerant of meat - for those who were still learning. 

3. What is the definition of diversity?

Here's how the conversation went:

• Diversity means being different.
• The derivation of the word is being different in talents, abilities, and gifts.
• But there is also positive diversity. Biblical diversity is taking our differences and making them work together for God's purpose in the world. 
• What we are really after is how do you take diverse groups of people and meld them into one unified whole. 
• It starts with being able to listen to each other. If you go to a Muslim country and listen to them talk about their lives you realize that what we hear about Muslims on television is not the reality. They are just like us. If you listen you can develop a conversation where every one is being heard. 
• The problem is that we have divide parts/concepts of the same belief. We all have different understandings of the beliefs that we share. One of the things we should sing as a church when it first begins is, "Whosoever Will May Come". 

4. We've talked a lot about diversity of beliefs as a church. One of the things that Baptists have always held to is the principle of liberty of conscience - every person is free to believe what they want to believe and shouldn't be compelled otherwise. Baptists have traditionally believed that in the church there should be "freedom in non-essentials." Of course, the problem is defining what the essentials are. What do you think are the essentials of faith that we have to share as a community?

Here's how the conversation went:

• From time to time we all question the whole "kit and caboodle" - God, Christ, the Trinity, whatever. We question our entire faith. All that should matter is love and acceptance. The thing that should hold us together is love and acceptance. If someone is being loving then it shouldn't matter if they have doubts or divergent theological beliefs. But if someone is being unloving and hurtful then no matter what they believe we have to challenge their actions. 

That's where we had to stop the conversation this week. The conversation will continue next Wednesday night at 6 pm. Hope to see you there!

Our Community Conversation (Week 4)

October 1st, 2014

One of the common themes in our conversations so far has been the topic of diversity as something that is unique about our church and something that we continue to strive for. Our question this week is "What do we need to do individually and what do we need to do collectively as a church to achieve diversity in our congregation?"

Here's what we discussed:

• First thing we need to do is identify which groups we want to attract.
• One group we don't talk about a lot that might be missing is non-Christians.
• We need to attract youth and young families. 
• We need to invite anyone that we come across in life.  
• We need be proactive instead of reactive as a church in our own neighborhoods. We could set up liaisons in each neighborhood to identify new people who move in. 
• Diversity is a side-effect of being welcoming as a church. 
• We need to continue getting involved in the Wrenn Dr. community. 
• Transportation is a major concern. How are we going to get people here?
• We should utilize Facebook for advertising Children's activities.
• We could create automobile magnets/t-shirts/or other advertising.
• At the recent Christian Community Development Association conference in Raleigh the level of diversity that we are looking for was present. Continued involvement with this group could help us to become more diverse lock hands regardless of race and go out into the community. 
• To have a diverse church we have to start inside by accepting diversity in many different forms. We have to admit it's not about us or how we want to worship. There's been complaining about songs in Latin or the Praise Band, but we need to allow people the freedom to worship in their own way. 
• What would we do if a transgender person came to our church? Would we know how to welcome them? We need to get out ahead of the issues we are going to face in the future. We need to combat fear with education. We need to impact the parts of our society that are not embraced (such as the transgender community).
• We have built in barriers that were established long ago. They are the way we were brought up to think and so we have to be constantly aware of these barriers when they flare up. We need to be stretched so that we can be more open to accepting diversity. 
• We could tap into the groups that meet at our church.
• We could gather teenagers together. 
• We need a project that we can all work on together like fixing up building A with a basketball court or pool table. 
• We can't expect people to come here. We have to go there. Also, some relatives came at Easter and were not greeted or welcomed by anyone, which is not good. 
• Some thought we might want to ask former youth who are now leaders in the church why they were always at the church building 30 plus years ago.
• Problem is that nobody knows how many teenagers we have as a church because the youth don't come on Wednesday night but are always there Sunday night. Kids are really busy.
• We are facing a no-nonsense generation that wants to be a part of something meaningful and genuine - not a new building or a gymnasium. They are attracted to something missional. 
• Every person in the church should be a greeter. We need to reach out and ask every one we see, "Can I help you?"
• If we build phase 2 we will have a fellowship hall that will solve a lot of our mobility problems for Senior adults. 
• We need to "bridge the salad bar" and find more opportunities for intergenerational ministry with people of all ages including mentors with youth and children's families. We need to cultivate a willingness to get to know each other across generations. 
• We need to have a way that younger couples can talk to an older person in church and build a relationship of support and friendship.
• Maybe we could have older adults serve food or prepare food on a Sunday night  for the youth?
• The question we haven't answered all night is "Diversity of what?" What kind of diversity do we want? Race, class, creed, color, sexuality, what kind of diversity do we need?
• Diversity of opinions is important. We need to learn from minority voices. We need to listen and practice tolerance. There are two-sides to every issue and we should be patient and loving with each other - especially on issues that do not impact our salvation.
• Seniors and youth we need to strive to get to know one another and then invite other people to come to church. 
• What are the barriers to diversity at this church?  

Our Community Conversation (Weeks 1-3)

For those of you who have not been able to make it to our first three Community Conversations we wanted to make sure you had a chance to learn what we talked about. All of our conversations have been very well attended and the discussion has been incredibly fruitful and productive. Here's what we've been talking about:

Week 1 - Sept. 10th, 2014

What are your dreams for the future of our church?

1. More children (like VBS)

2. Use building A

3. Diversity

4. Diversity (race, identity)

5. Diversity (music, programs)

6. Change GFCC from half-day to full day with scholarships for underprivileged children.

7. Muti-lingual Congregation rent our sanctuary, ESL classes

8. New building (complete phase 2);

- move out of fellowship hall, recreation, growth

9. Community fellowship and conversation

10. Sunday School classes for 20-35 year olds

11. More younger adults and families

12. Local involvement in Wrenn Dr.

13. Keep the current staff for a long time

How do we achieve those dreams?

1. Money

2. Hard Work

3. Faith

4. Endowment

Week 2 – Sept. 17th 2014

What are the biggest challenges/opportunities that we face as a church?

1.  Lack of full time staff (financial)

2. Moving into the age of technology

3. Sunday attendance/Numerical growth/Full-time staff

4. Keep people excited (feeling like church could explode)

5. Find ways for others to participate (diversity)

6. Money

7. Getting along with each other

8. Having safe conversations

9. Maintaining priorities (in cases of disagreement)

10. Finances (gave less last year)

11. Passion (staying invigorated)

12. Change (not easy for people)

13. Look for good instead of focusing on things we don't like

14. Keep moving forward with Praise Assembly

15. Doing pretty darn well

16. Assure people we can disagree and worship together

17. Stewardship (time/talents/tithing)

18. Getting people involved in programs 
19. Helping young families see benefit of tithing

20. Having "winning" seasons (makes people excited to give)

21. Fellowship for people of all age

22. Keeping eyes on important things (love for one another)

23. Addressing chaos of world from safe a community (Cary) where the living is easy

24. Make effort to talk to those we disagree w/ instead of getting in groups.

25. Diversity (more people who look different)

Week 3 – Sept. 24th 2014

What can we build on and what do we need to improve on as a church?

(What are our assets and what are our deficiencies?)

Build On (Assets): 

1. Friendliness/Welcome

2. Musical Program (join choir/share talents/get them more exposure)

3. Worship

4. Welcome

5. Technologically Savvy

6. Volunteers (need new and more)

7. Very Receptive Church/Welcoming

8. Our Senior Group

Improve On (Deficiencies):

1. Letting the Spirit move more freely ("It's ok to raise your hands and say 'Amen'")

2. Making new people part of the family

3. Finding a unique and genuine outreach

4. Getting to know people of other ages (use directory/volunteer in a new area)

5. Fellowship (Extended table/see the new member board/create a flyer)

6. How we handle change

7. Getting people plugged in (Sunday school/programs)

8. Attracting young families

9. Small group ministry

At the end of our conversation we had a short discussion about some general protocol concerning how to respond to people who come to the church looking for help. We have had a number of people trying to work the system going from church to church asking for money for the purpose of getting drugs. The staff requested that if a members are approached by someone asking for money that they come get a staff member. The staff member will then call Dorcas ministries to make sure that the person is truly in need of help and not working the system. The Missions committee is working on developing emergency kits to give out to those who need them and the staff was asked to provide some more information and procedures for volunteers who work in the office that might be confronted while the staff are in meetings.

Guidelines for Healthy Dialogue

We developed the following guidelines for healthy dialogue to make sure that our Community Conversation is always a safe place for sharing and for building relationships.

1. Try to be present as fully as possible.

2. Everyone should feel encouraged and empowered to speak.

3. Conversation involves both deep listening and honest sharing.

4. Seek to listen more than you speak.

5. Trust each other with your feelings and experiences.

6. Feel free to ask if you don’t understand.

7. Question not just what you hear, but also what you think.

8. Always keep an open mind and an open heart.

9. Dialogue is not about agreement, but deepening understanding.

10. Speak your truth in ways that respect other people’s truth.

11. Use “I” statements to describe your views and feelings.

12. Be vulnerable instead of defensive.

13. Respond to others with open and honest questions.

14. When the going gets rough turn to wonder and intrigue.

15. Set aside judgment and listen to yourself and others more deeply.

16. Pay close attention to your reactions and responses.

17. Refrain from trying to fix each other.

18. Support each other through the process of sharing.

19. It is okay to change your mind.

20. Do not let your voice dominate the conversation.

21. Highlight minority voices as much as possible.
22. Honor the identity and integrity of everyone with mutual respect.

Community Conversation

Over the summer I read the book Slow Church: Cultivating Community in the Patient Way of Jesus by Christopher Smith and John Pattison. The book draws on insights learned from the Slow Food Movement, asset based community developers, poets, and social entrepreneurs to help cast a vision for a more patient way of doing church. The last chapter of the book, which is entitled "Dinner Table Conversation as a Way of Being Church", helped me see that genuine honest conversation was something that was missing at our church. We were already eating together every Wednesday night as a congregation, but we weren't having a church wide conversation. So we brainstormed as a staff and worked with the Discipleship Ministry to develop our new Community Meal and Conversation. We are extremely excited about the potential that this conversation will have for building community in our congregation. Here is the write-up we put together about it for the bulletin:

Community Conversation

The kingdom of God is not found in the wisdom of the world, nor in eloquence, but in the faith of the cross and in the virtue of dialogue. – St. Cyprian

With the rise in popularity of text messaging and social media many people feel that we are losing the ability to talk to one another face-to-face, or to have deep and meaningful conversations. This lack is making it increasingly difficult to develop rich and intimate relationships with our family, friends, neighbors, and fellow church members. Some scholars have even argued that our lack of opportunities for deep and meaningful face-to-face conversations have caused us to become unable to relate to one another appropriately and is a problem at the heart of the increasing level of political incivility and conflict in our society and in our churches. 

In an effort to engage in healthy dialog as a church and help each another to cultivate the art of conversation we will begin talking together in an intentional way every Wednesday night after dinner from 6-7 pm in the Fellowship Hall. We will sing together, pray together, talk about our worship services, dive into the biblical texts of the current sermon series, discuss what is going on in our church and our community, and engage in respectful conversation and dialogue about the issues and challenges that are facing our congregation and our world. The aim of this new initiative is to build deep relationships between us as Christians so that we can work together even more efficiently in ministry and mission to the world.

All are welcome and strongly encouraged to come and join us for our Community Conversation on Wednesday nights after dinner starting this fall.

Rev. Benjamin Boswell, Pastor