Our Community Conversation (Weeks 1-3)

For those of you who have not been able to make it to our first three Community Conversations we wanted to make sure you had a chance to learn what we talked about. All of our conversations have been very well attended and the discussion has been incredibly fruitful and productive. Here's what we've been talking about:

Week 1 - Sept. 10th, 2014

What are your dreams for the future of our church?

1. More children (like VBS)

2. Use building A

3. Diversity

4. Diversity (race, identity)

5. Diversity (music, programs)

6. Change GFCC from half-day to full day with scholarships for underprivileged children.

7. Muti-lingual Congregation rent our sanctuary, ESL classes

8. New building (complete phase 2);

- move out of fellowship hall, recreation, growth

9. Community fellowship and conversation

10. Sunday School classes for 20-35 year olds

11. More younger adults and families

12. Local involvement in Wrenn Dr.

13. Keep the current staff for a long time

How do we achieve those dreams?

1. Money

2. Hard Work

3. Faith

4. Endowment

Week 2 – Sept. 17th 2014

What are the biggest challenges/opportunities that we face as a church?

1.  Lack of full time staff (financial)

2. Moving into the age of technology

3. Sunday attendance/Numerical growth/Full-time staff

4. Keep people excited (feeling like church could explode)

5. Find ways for others to participate (diversity)

6. Money

7. Getting along with each other

8. Having safe conversations

9. Maintaining priorities (in cases of disagreement)

10. Finances (gave less last year)

11. Passion (staying invigorated)

12. Change (not easy for people)

13. Look for good instead of focusing on things we don't like

14. Keep moving forward with Praise Assembly

15. Doing pretty darn well

16. Assure people we can disagree and worship together

17. Stewardship (time/talents/tithing)

18. Getting people involved in programs 
19. Helping young families see benefit of tithing

20. Having "winning" seasons (makes people excited to give)

21. Fellowship for people of all age

22. Keeping eyes on important things (love for one another)

23. Addressing chaos of world from safe a community (Cary) where the living is easy

24. Make effort to talk to those we disagree w/ instead of getting in groups.

25. Diversity (more people who look different)

Week 3 – Sept. 24th 2014

What can we build on and what do we need to improve on as a church?

(What are our assets and what are our deficiencies?)

Build On (Assets): 

1. Friendliness/Welcome

2. Musical Program (join choir/share talents/get them more exposure)

3. Worship

4. Welcome

5. Technologically Savvy

6. Volunteers (need new and more)

7. Very Receptive Church/Welcoming

8. Our Senior Group

Improve On (Deficiencies):

1. Letting the Spirit move more freely ("It's ok to raise your hands and say 'Amen'")

2. Making new people part of the family

3. Finding a unique and genuine outreach

4. Getting to know people of other ages (use directory/volunteer in a new area)

5. Fellowship (Extended table/see the new member board/create a flyer)

6. How we handle change

7. Getting people plugged in (Sunday school/programs)

8. Attracting young families

9. Small group ministry

At the end of our conversation we had a short discussion about some general protocol concerning how to respond to people who come to the church looking for help. We have had a number of people trying to work the system going from church to church asking for money for the purpose of getting drugs. The staff requested that if a members are approached by someone asking for money that they come get a staff member. The staff member will then call Dorcas ministries to make sure that the person is truly in need of help and not working the system. The Missions committee is working on developing emergency kits to give out to those who need them and the staff was asked to provide some more information and procedures for volunteers who work in the office that might be confronted while the staff are in meetings.

Guidelines for Healthy Dialogue

We developed the following guidelines for healthy dialogue to make sure that our Community Conversation is always a safe place for sharing and for building relationships.

1. Try to be present as fully as possible.

2. Everyone should feel encouraged and empowered to speak.

3. Conversation involves both deep listening and honest sharing.

4. Seek to listen more than you speak.

5. Trust each other with your feelings and experiences.

6. Feel free to ask if you don’t understand.

7. Question not just what you hear, but also what you think.

8. Always keep an open mind and an open heart.

9. Dialogue is not about agreement, but deepening understanding.

10. Speak your truth in ways that respect other people’s truth.

11. Use “I” statements to describe your views and feelings.

12. Be vulnerable instead of defensive.

13. Respond to others with open and honest questions.

14. When the going gets rough turn to wonder and intrigue.

15. Set aside judgment and listen to yourself and others more deeply.

16. Pay close attention to your reactions and responses.

17. Refrain from trying to fix each other.

18. Support each other through the process of sharing.

19. It is okay to change your mind.

20. Do not let your voice dominate the conversation.

21. Highlight minority voices as much as possible.
22. Honor the identity and integrity of everyone with mutual respect.

Community Conversation

Over the summer I read the book Slow Church: Cultivating Community in the Patient Way of Jesus by Christopher Smith and John Pattison. The book draws on insights learned from the Slow Food Movement, asset based community developers, poets, and social entrepreneurs to help cast a vision for a more patient way of doing church. The last chapter of the book, which is entitled "Dinner Table Conversation as a Way of Being Church", helped me see that genuine honest conversation was something that was missing at our church. We were already eating together every Wednesday night as a congregation, but we weren't having a church wide conversation. So we brainstormed as a staff and worked with the Discipleship Ministry to develop our new Community Meal and Conversation. We are extremely excited about the potential that this conversation will have for building community in our congregation. Here is the write-up we put together about it for the bulletin:

Community Conversation

The kingdom of God is not found in the wisdom of the world, nor in eloquence, but in the faith of the cross and in the virtue of dialogue. – St. Cyprian

With the rise in popularity of text messaging and social media many people feel that we are losing the ability to talk to one another face-to-face, or to have deep and meaningful conversations. This lack is making it increasingly difficult to develop rich and intimate relationships with our family, friends, neighbors, and fellow church members. Some scholars have even argued that our lack of opportunities for deep and meaningful face-to-face conversations have caused us to become unable to relate to one another appropriately and is a problem at the heart of the increasing level of political incivility and conflict in our society and in our churches. 

In an effort to engage in healthy dialog as a church and help each another to cultivate the art of conversation we will begin talking together in an intentional way every Wednesday night after dinner from 6-7 pm in the Fellowship Hall. We will sing together, pray together, talk about our worship services, dive into the biblical texts of the current sermon series, discuss what is going on in our church and our community, and engage in respectful conversation and dialogue about the issues and challenges that are facing our congregation and our world. The aim of this new initiative is to build deep relationships between us as Christians so that we can work together even more efficiently in ministry and mission to the world.

All are welcome and strongly encouraged to come and join us for our Community Conversation on Wednesday nights after dinner starting this fall.

Rev. Benjamin Boswell, Pastor